girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
