he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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