youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Who did Billy Mays play for?
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I checked into jail on foursquare
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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