we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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