I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
We're too hungover to prance.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
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