Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize
