I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Sober January is a disaster.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
