I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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