I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
