just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
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