Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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