10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
