dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Randomize
