I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize