your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
