Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
You need a sexual gate keeper
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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