i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Randomize
