The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize