i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
