is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
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