new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
i will never coherently bang her
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
