Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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