do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
