U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Randomize
