I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I need to sanitize my soul.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
my liver is dry heaving
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
