i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
did i walk over a car last night?
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
