We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I am never drinking with the goths again.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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