You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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