maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No more Irish car bombs ever.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Randomize