That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
You need a sexual gate keeper
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Randomize
