i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
