How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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