if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
