He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize