For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
