are you still at the devil's house?
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
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