he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
