I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
