Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Randomize