We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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