i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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