a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
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