I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
