Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
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I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
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drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
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