I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
