so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
