I bet he comes in French.
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
this just has baby written all over it
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
19 Movie Extras Reveal What It’s Like To Work With Celebrities
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...