IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.