We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Dating After Heartbreak
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
These Images Prove Chrissy Teigen is the Funniest Model Alive
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night