Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
