He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
