just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
