this just has baby written all over it
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
