So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Randomize
