He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
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