So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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