you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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