A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
As shirtless as possible
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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