My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
im having a threesome with these popsicles
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
